What to say when there are no words
There is no perfect thing to say. Be honest, listen, and let the other person set the pace; don't push anyone to talk if they don't want to. You don't have to talk all the time: simply sitting beside someone in silence can be a great comfort. It is fine to cry. (Hospice UK)
Signposting, not medical adviceSources checked 28 September 2026
Starting the conversation
- Talk face to face if you can, or by phone rather than in a written message. (Hospice UK)
- Choose a quiet, comfortable place where you won't be interrupted, and turn your phone off. (Hospice UK)
- Use clear, honest words rather than phrases like 'gone to sleep', especially with a child, or someone with dementia or a learning disability. (Hospice UK)
While you talk
- Be honest, rather than searching for the right or clever thing to say. (Hospice UK)
- Listen, and notice their tone of voice and body language. If they avoid eye contact, they may not be ready. (Hospice UK)
- Stay calm: breathe slowly, and feel your feet on the floor. (Hospice UK)
- Let them know they can come to you. You might say: 'If there ever comes a time when you want to talk about something, please do tell me.' (Hospice UK)
Support for you
Bereavement counselling is available through your GP, local counselling services and bereavement charities. Hospice chaplains offer spiritual care whatever your religion or beliefs. (Hospice UK)
Related pages
If you need help now
If someone's life is in danger, call 999. If you need medical help urgently and are not sure what to do, call 111 (NHS 111 in England and Wales, NHS 24 in Scotland). In Northern Ireland, nidirect explains where to get urgent help.
If someone has just died
- If the death was expected, at home
- Contact their GP. If community nurses have been visiting, call them too: they can verify the death. Outside surgery hours, contact the on-call doctor.
- If the death was unexpected
- Call 999 straight away and explain what has happened. The police will also be told, because the coroner needs to know.
Sources: NHS: when to call 999 · NHS: when to use 111 · Sussex Community NHS Foundation Trust · nidirect: when someone dies at home
Sources
- Hospice UK: Talking about death and dying (No date shown; read 28 September 2026)